dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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