it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't deserve a penis
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
