you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
