Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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