I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
