I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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