I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
