Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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