are you so shy because you have an std?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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