Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
