hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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