; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
