Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
