Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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