Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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