He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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