One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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