ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
