if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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