I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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