Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
