I got chris browned last night
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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