a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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