Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
