New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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