oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
