really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
