And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
