proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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