I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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