Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
