Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I pour the whiskey from now on
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
