She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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