69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
