Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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