Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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