My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
