I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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