ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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