i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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