she was so not down for the gang bang
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
