I wish my penis had an off switch
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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