I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
