Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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