it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
