Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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