i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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