I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
