do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize