is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
