im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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