i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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