is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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