I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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