someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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