I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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