Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
