Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize