p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
