with your own penis?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
