A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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