Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you didnt know i had herpes?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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