Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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